What is fussy eating?
Fussy eating or selective eating can be a normal behaviour for young children as they learn to explore what foods feel safe, what foods they enjoy and make their bodies feel good. Children may eat a lot one day, a little the next, and they are unlikely to eat everything from at every meal time. It can be helpful to encourage children to listen to their bodies and start understanding their hunger cues rather than putting pressure on them to finish everything on their plate.
Parents/carers are role models, which means they have a great opportunity to lead by example so children can learn that trying new foods is safe by watching parents/carers eat a variety of foods or even trying new foods as a family.
Children often need to be exposed to the same foods many times before they feel comfortable trying it. Parents/carers can encourage this curiosity by supporting children to look, touch, taste and even spit out their food if they change their mind. Even if a child enjoys a certain food, they won’t necessarily eat it every time. Patience, persistence and compassion is encouraged.
Parent/carer’s can support their child in relation to their environment, meal structure,
safety and variety of everyday food. For example, sitting at the table as a family at around the same time for dinner every day can promote consistency and provides clear expectations for children about prioritising enjoying dinner and talking as a family, without there being specific pressure around eating.
It can be helpful for parent/carers to encourage their child to tune in, and respond to, their feelings of hunger and fullness. For example, using a hunger scale to help children recognise when they are hungry and talking openly about the different reasons we may want to eat e.g. managing emotions, seeking comfort, celebrating/connecting and helping them think about what else they could do to get these needs met.
Anxiety can play a big role in whether a child feels comfortable to try new foods. Taking a low pressure approach and avoiding making changes when you know your child is feeling particularly anxious can help. Supporting children to understand that it’s okay for them to feel worried about trying new foods and talking with them to try and understand and address their fears can also help a child feel safe to try new foods.
Getting into battles around food is a common experience for parents/carers trying to support their child with fussy eating. Taking a breather and trying to avoid negotiating, pleading or providing too much explanation can be helpful for parents/carers and children, as this often just increases anxiety.
Top Tips
- Help children understand that all foods have value, but our body needs them in different amounts and for different reasons.
- Put small amounts of new foods out in a separate dish next to their child’s meal/safe foods so they know they have a safe option and the opportunity to explore new foods.
- Involving children in choosing which foods to buy prepare or cook can help encourage them to enjoy the process and encourage them to make different choices. For example, when shopping, encourage your child to choose a new food to try. To start with, these choices may not be that nutritious. This is not important as your child is just learning that trying new food is something that is safe to do and that can be enjoyable. It may even be best not to ask your child to eat the food they have chosen when you get home. Leave it out so the new food can be seen. When the child sees the food that they have chosen, there may naturally feel more comfortable trying it.
- If a child helps with preparing and cooking food, there may be no need to ask a child to try some. If they want some, they will either eat it or ask if they can have it. If they don’t want to try it they have still been exposed to new smells and textures.
- Children generally respond well to praise and encourage. However, you may find that putting too much focus on this if your child is struggling with trying new foods can put more pressure on them and increase their anxiety. Judging how much praise works for your child is a helpful part of supporting them to progress with trying new foods.
- Dessert: Children often enjoy dessert more than the main course. This means that parents/carers often only allow dessert if the main course has been eaten. It may be helpful to try serving desert at the same time as their main meal to provide a clear message that all kinds of food can be enjoyed and that foods classed as ‘dessert’ don’t become associated with being a more desirable choice. If your child says that they are hungry, but you know a meal is scheduled soon, it can be helpful to provide a small snack to encourage them to continue listening to their hunger cues rather than telling them they have to wait.
